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Seriously, enough with all the commentary on my breeding capabilities! First it was “When are you having a baby?!” Then it was “If you ever want to have a baby you’d better start now!” Now it’s all “You’re too old anyway.” Why is it everyone’s business? Because ALL MY LIFE ALL I’VE EVER BEEN TO THE WORLD IS A FUCKING UTERUS. HOW UNFORTUNATE THAT I COME WITH A BRAIN AS WELL.
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Need help with a practical joke
When the space shuttle arrives back on Earth, we all need to be dressed up in ape costumes. We need everyone in America to do it or it won’t work. Pass it on.
Dear Everyone. See above. Do not mess this up. Failure is not an option.
Check your calendars.
(Source: , via mightyhunter)